Life Is Just a Bowl of Smellies

2011-12-31T14:26:00.003-05:00

Which do you think has more value to us as a nation? A growth industry that saves lives, uses high tech equipment made in the USA or another growth industry that is degenerative to human lives and uses high tech equipment manufactured in China? Perhaps that's stated a bit strongly, but how else can I make my point? We get all up tight when health care grows and takes a bigger share of the gross national product. We run out and buy stock when we find out that electronic entertainment or video games are selling off the shelves at Xmas. Why do we go nuts and look for "solutions to the problem" when health care spending goes up, and glow with stock market happiness when entertainment expenses go up? Why do we see health care growth as a negative and brain numbing games as a positive. I think we need to push the reset button on our thinking. If video games were provided by the government from our taxes the same way that liberals propose to provide health care, maybe we'd have a federal death panel in charge of video games usage.

Which Industry should grow?

2011-12-30T17:13:00.005-05:00

Verstunkener Reporters

2011-06-06T17:05:00.004-04:00

Are reporters just dumb? Many a time we've seen a reporter shove a microphone in someone's face and ask "How do you feel?" while the blood of a loved one is still oozing over the sidewalk at a crime scene or their house is four feet under water. Don't you wish the person would smack the reporter across the face? The other unnerving thing that reporters do is ask questions from a predetermined list. The guest has just said that he or she thinks that a massive earthquake will destroy the city of San Francisco tomorrow morning at 8 AM and the reporter asks where the earthquake will occur. I've yet to see a guest say, "Haven't you been paying attention?" Don't you wish someone would?

Ferstunkener Wind

2011-04-14T15:50:00.005-04:00

I was about to ridicule a friend on his blog http://tvpclub.blogspot.com/ for his crazy ideas concerning Gaia, the Earth goddess. But first I had a chore to do. I needed to repair some ripped screening caused by my dog attacking a squirrel. Out I went with my trusty aerosol can of contact cement. As soon as I masked the area off and got on my rubber gloves, the wind whipped up. Ferstunkener wind! Then I realized that the wind blows anytime I want to do spraying!
Aha! Absolute scientific proof that Gaia exists and doesn't like aerosols.

Stinky or verstunkener "Hone"

2011-04-11T21:39:00.003-04:00

I hate it when people on TV say they "honed in on" something or another when they "homed in on" something. One can "hone" or "sharpen" one's skills or "hone" or "sharpen" a blade. Homing in is what a guided missile does on a target.

fershtunkener plumbers

2011-01-18T18:25:00.006-05:00

I have the urge to shout "stupid plumbers!!!" Actually they're pretty smart. They arrange things so they'll always have work to do. Every time I do a repair to my fairly new house it's the same story. After fixing the faucet or toilet or whatever, I stand back with pride to see how it functions and then I hear the drip, drip, drip of the shutoff valve. I know these valves are not made to take constant turning on and off, but how about ONE on-off cycle. Tomorrow, I'll make another trip to the hardware supply store and buy a new shutoff valve. Crawling under the sink to replace the valve with a new one will be a worse task than the original job. I pray that the fittings won't leak, because that's the next weak point in an unending chain of misery.

Traffic Circles

2010-04-06T12:53:00.003-04:00

An example of the distance between the expert elite and the user is the difference of opinion concerning traffic circles. Traffic engineers love round-abouts, circles or rondpoints. They will defend them in the face of public outcry . In theory, a traffic circle is ingenious. You have four or more streams of traffic miraculous merging and crossing without a signal or sign. The flow is smooth and safe. That's the theory. In fact, stress levels are so high in people trying to get around that they will drive miles out of the way to avoid them. One can find many funny and scary videos on the internet illustrating the madness at traffic circles all over the world. When it doesn't work properly and safely, the traffic engineers blame the drivers who they claim are driving too fast or don't know the rules of negotiating the circle properly. In fact there are no rules but survival of the fittest when it comes to these monsters. I've been told by several local policemen that the best policy is to ignore the "rules" and drive slowly on the right very, very, very defensively.

fershtunkener inevitable

2010-02-15T19:09:00.003-05:00

I was doing a little research on the internet in preparation for a talk to be given by a warmist at our philosophy club. He was to make a presentation about his visits to Alaska and the shrinking of the Arctic ice cap. My search led me to the existence of massive polar volcanos that melt glaciers and emit carbon dioxide, a fact of which I wasn't aware. The volcanos add another element to the model of the global energy balance; another poorly understood element that cannot be quantified. My intent here is not to reopen a discussion of global climate change, but something philosophically broader. Let us assume that a sufficiently accurate model cannot be created and ask ourselves a few questions about that situation.

What does one do when science is not powerful enough to yield the required information about the risks of the future? Getting away from the controversial area of climate change, we can take collision with an asteroid or oversize meteor as unmodelable, yet the risk exists and the consequences would be massive. What is the rational strategy in such a situation? Arguing that we should do something, because the result of not doing something is huge, is fallacious. Edward Teller pointed out the logical fallacy of multiplying a probability that approaches zero by a consequence that approaches infinity which yields an indeterminant risk.

It would seem that at a high level of ignorance or a reliance on providence requires a strategy of flexibility. Decisions in favor of flexibility allow one to wait as long as possible which in turn decreases uncertainty. Adaptation is clearly the way to go, because it gives you precious time in an unknown environment. An example of an adaptation would be a local dike rather than shutting down energy consumption worldwide.

fershtunkener first-graders

2010-02-14T16:24:00.004-05:00

It was my first time as a first-grade volunteer. As I entered the classroom, the teacher welcomed me and immediately one little five year old came running up to hug me. I had heard that these kids were as much in need of affection as tutoring. The teacher quickly intercepted the child and sternly told him to sit down. My heart melted and I was thinking that she was kind of harsh to what seemed like such a needy child. She then said, "Watch out for Jacob. He gets a runny nose full of snot and looks for any adult he can wipe his nose on."
There's a life lesson to be learned here for a bleeding-heart liberal.

Dumb Commercials

2010-01-04T19:29:00.002-05:00

One of the dumbest TV commercials in the world has to be the one by Brinks Home Security. It tries to convince the consumer that some evil-doer is just outside your door waiting to smash it in and attack you and your family. In this particular version, a mother and young daughter set the front door alarm. Moments later the door is crashed in by a hoodlum. The alarm goes off as they run upstairs presumably to get to a safe room. On their way down the hallway moving at top speed in a panic, they come to a screeching halt as the telephone rings. It's Brinks Home Security inquiring about what set off the alarm. Of course, it might just as well have been a tele-marketer. Remember, in an emergency, when the lives of you and your child are in danger, always interrupt your escape to answer the telephone.

Fershluggener Washing Machine

2009-08-03T09:29:00.006-04:00

While dog-sitting at my daughter's house, we took the opportunity to wash some clothes. While the machine was running, I tried to do some plastering around the new shower. I had to stop after awhile because the washer was driving me crazy. It kept repeating "Running bear. Running bear. ........" I'm sure you've all had that kind of experience. It recalled to me camping in a tent along the Loire river and being awakened in the morning to the cooing of doves that repeated over and over, "You're so damned stupid. You're so damned stupid." If you search the web you'll find among other sites the following one:

http://listverse.com/2008/02/29/top-10-incredible-sound-illusions/

A most interesting one is "Phantom Words", a repeated sound that eventually become a word in your own mind. When I played it this morning, all three dogs snapped to attention and a normally silent dog began to bark.

Although most auditory illusions refer to music, some are based on "defects" in our mental interpretation of sound into words. It would be interesting to be able to separate L-minds from C-Minds in this way, or at least as an IQ test that would distinguish intellect from indigestion.

On a tree by a river a little tom-tit
Sang "Willow, titwillow, titwillow"
And I said to him, "Dicky-bird, why do you sit
Singing 'Willow, titwillow, titwillow'"
"Is it weakness of intellect, birdie?" I cried
"Or a rather tough worm in your little inside"
-Gilbert and Sullivan

Ferstunkener Media

2009-06-26T10:37:00.001-04:00

There is a certain irony in the fact that between Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson's deaths, there is almost a complete blackout of news from or discussion about Iran. At a crucial moment in history, one has to wonder about whether the fundamental premise of the mullahs is right. That premise (as relayed to me by an Egyptian colleague) is that men are dogs and need a strong leash to prevent them from descending into degeneracy. While Iranian students try to wrest a bit of personal freedom from their government, we see that the worship of pop icons move them off center stage. In the end will the death of Michael Jackson do more to muzzle the revolution in the strrets of Teheran than the shutting down of the internet? Is humanity doomed to oscillate between slavery and liberty, neither of which they can handle? Were Plato and Aristotle right about the impossibility of sustained democracy? With respect -Joel

Waste Not

2009-03-12T21:43:00.000-04:00

Being retired to Florida is great except for the fact that my wife and I are busier than ever. We look forward each year to escaping for a few months to the little, laid-back town of Tawas, Michigan. One of the luxuries we enjoy is sleeping late every morning. We are definitely not the kind of people who pop out of bed bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. The clock radio goes off at 9 AM to an oldies music station sponsored by the local mortuary. Sometimes, instead of Benny Goodman and his orchestra, we wake to the sound of a deep voice reading the obituaries of all the folks in the county who met their maker the previous week. The first time it happened my wife nudged me and said, “I didn’t hear them call our names. I guess we have to get out of bed.” Now it’s our tradition to lie there until they’ve read all the names to make sure we’re not getting out of bed unnecessarily.

Ferstunkener Mind Navigators

2008-12-29T15:26:00.003-05:00

excerpt from DESIGN FOR LIFE
copyright Joel Fox

Preface
Life is full of obstacles that crop up as we all try to satisfy our various needs. Those obstacles are what most people call problems. In this book, I put everyday problem solving on a more scientific footing, using adaptations of techniques that have been proven for decades in high technology industries. By following this method, you will open your mind to new possibilities. In contrast to techniques like meditation in which you try to release yourself from structure, you will learn to create a structure that serves as a ladder toward your goals.
The last century has seen enormous technological progress. Engineers have taken the basic information generated by scientists and accomplished marvels ranging from suspension bridges to automobiles to nuclear reactors to MRI scanners to space flight. Beneath the complexities of these machines lies a methodology that is common to all branches of engineering, because all engineering is problem solving. All engineering is scientfic and logical decision making. We can also say that all of everyday life is problem solving and decision making, only it’s too often neither logical nor scientific.
For the past 30 years I've taught engineering to many young people. I've also been an academic advisor to a hundreds of students during that time. These students often need help in making decisions about what to do when they're uncertain about their future plans. Some students don’t do well because of troubled relationships with boyfriends or girlfriends or parents.
In trying to help students work their way through difficulties, I've noticed that certain engineering techniques could be adapted to human problems as opposed to just physical problems. What I call "life engineering" is about applying methods we have developed for the creative design of everything from computers to space stations, to the ordinary problems and needs of your daily life.

Chapter 1. Hyperspace and Your Genius

In Webster’s Unabridged Dictionary we find this definition:

JINNI: a magic spirit believed to take human form and serve the person who calls it.
ge*nius (noun), plural ge*nius*es or ge*nii

Solution Space contains the answers to all of our problems. It is a “hyperspace”, a space of more than three dimensions, where both practical and impractical solutions spring into place whenever a problem appears before us. It is a hyperspace of the mind that is hidden from us until we explore it with the probe we call “consciousness.” [You have a hint of the existence of solution hyperspace when you awake in the morning suddenly knowing the answer to a problem that seemed insolvable the night before. You did not create the solution in your sleep. The solution already existed somewhere in your mind, but your consciousness could not find it. Your consciousness had been mired in all the fruitless solutions you had explored the night before. You awake with an unfocused mind and the instant you begin thinking about the problem you find yourself in a new area of mental hyperspace where other possibilities exist.]
In this little manual you will learn to converse with your hyperspace genie and pilot the consciousness probe. You will learn how to steer it and guide it through the hyperspace in your own mind. You will learn to create a map of your travels and to read the road signs that point the way to the solutions that best satisfy your needs.
Before the mind can create a solution hyperspace, there must be a problem to be solved. The mind needs and reacts well to this kind of stimulation. The human brain loves to solve problems, but can be temperamental. In the ancient story, the owner of the Magic Lamp asked the Genie for all the wealth of the world. The mischievous Genie surrounded his master with piles of gold bullion hundreds of feet high and as thick as the walls of a medieval fortress. His master's initial joy over limitless wealth gave way to the realization that the walls of gold made him just as much of a prisoner as the poorest wretch in the royal dungeon. The genie had once again tricked his master into wasting a wish.
Just as the owner of a magic lamp must be very careful in making a request of the genie, so the owner of a human brain must be careful in posing a problem to the mind. It is the question itself which triggers the creation of Solution Hyperspace. No matter how much knowledge may be stored in a brain, if the request for an answer is improperly posed, the chances are that a Solution Hyperspace will be created by our genius which will frustrate us as we probe it with our consciousness.
Another way to picture this is as a set of streets with a traffic light at each corner. The question we ask ourselves produces a key of a certain shape which depends on the wording of the question. That key when inserted in the traffic control box turns some of the lights to green and leaves the rest red. We are then able to explore the town in a way which depends on which streets are open to us and how adept we are at driving. Asking the wrong question opens only a few sreets to us. No matter how skillful a driver you may be, you are limited by the streets that are open. On the other hand, even if you pose the question in a way that makes your genius open a large number of streets, If you drive around in circles or keep crashing into obstacles you’re not going to get very far.
Why Hyperspace? Ordinary space has three dimensions. Everything we see in this world can be located with respect to a set of three spatial coordinates. Up-down, forward-backward and side-to-side would be one set of three coordinate axes. Another set of three directions describing location might be north-south, east-west, and elevation-depth. We can specify a position in ordinary space using these coordinates and inquire as to what is at that particular location. Theoretically, we could even do such a thing for the human mind; "What piece of information is located at a position in the brain specified by: 3 inches in, 2 inches to the left and 1 inch up measured from the mole on my forehead as a starting point." Although that "three-space" description might have some usefulness to an evil, science-fiction surgeon bent on removing a memory from your mind with a stainless steel probe, it is not very helpful when we are searching our own brains with the “probe of consciousness.” Our probe must be directed by other descriptive coordinates which might include color, temperature, time, location, expense, or any of the other variables under which we file information within our minds. That’s why I use the term mental hyperspace; a cabinet full of information filed in no particular physical order, but with neural links leading from each folder to many, many other folders. A search in such a filing system is a challenge, but also offers the possibility of marvelous surprises. Mastery of this multi-dimensional filing system is called creativity and the surprises are called bright ideas.
Detours in Mental Hyperspace
The other day I happened to be watching television when a man by the name of Yandle was being interviewed. Although his face was not familiar, the name seemed to ring a bell. I was sure I knew someone with that name, which is certainly not a common one, but I couldn’t make the connection to anything else stored in my memory. I gave up the search after a few minutes, since it was of absolutely no consequence. Several days later, I was listening to a radio program during which a couple was being interviewed on the subject of "polyamora marriage"; a menage à trois, quatre or more. Suddenly, I remembered why the name Yandle was familiar. About fifteen years before, someone of that name had run a “swinging couples” club in the penthouse above my apartment and the building management had expended quite a bit of effort stopping the parties which carried on noisily to all hours of the morning.
Let’s be clear about what happened here. I had first carried out a casual mental search for the significance of a name and had consciously abandoned the search. A somewhat related subject had triggered a successful conclusion to the search weeks later. Somehow the polygamous couples being interviewed on television had connected with my “abandoned” search. One traditional way of interpreting this type of experience is that the mind operates on two levels. The fact that I was, on a conscious level, no longer looking for the significance of the name Yandle did not stop my unconscious mind from continuing the search. The conscious mind had given up the search, but the unconscious mind had not. It continued the effort until the issue was resolved and the goal achieved. The trouble with this view is that it gives rise to an almost mystical image of the brain. A part of the brain goes off and does its own thing independent of our control, almost magically providing us with answers we couldn’t find. It that view there is an autonomous and uncontrollable part of our brain that can be praised or blamed for our accomplishments.
A better view, closer to the way we know that nerve tissue in the brain functions, is that the incomplete search caused a chemical “loose-end” like an itch or irritation. The focus of our attention and consciousness shifted, because we decided that the problem was too trivial to pursue, but the chemical loose-end kept attracting the thinking process. These loose-ends, and there may be many, attract our attention so that any new incoming data can be tested to see if it has any connection to the loose-end. If so, we start to think about the problem again. If not, we pass on to other things. This second view of “sudden inspiration” means we really have no hidden thinking process. All real thinking is conscious and is under our control. Answers from “out of the blue” are more related to scratching an mental itch than being inspired by a muse. Unfortunately, the brain does not distinguish between loose-ends which are crucial and those which are trivial. Our minds can become cluttered with loose-ends that slow down our thinking process and hamper our problem solving ability. We will discuss unwanted neural loose-ends and how to clear them out of mental hyperspace in a later chapter.

Swirling Black Holes in Hyperspace
Years ago Michel Legrand wrote a song with the words; "like a circle in a spiral, like a wheel within a wheel, never ending or beginning on a ever-spinning reel...pictures hanging in a hallway and a fragment of a song, half-remembered names and faces but to whom do they belong?" The imagery of mental confusion and the problems we encounter when we search Mental Hyperspace are beautiful and revealing. The feeling of going in circles when thinking is common to most people. In computer programming, this type of going-in-circles is termed being caught in an "infinite loop" and generally spells disaster. How do we avoid getting caught in a loop; a black hole from which nothing emerges? How do we avoid disastrous and quixotic collisions with the “windmills of your mind”? Simple; we have to be able to steer your genie by learning to navigate in mental hyperspace. (see chapter 2)

Chapter 2. Navigating in Mental Hyperspace

One of the first things an engineer learns is to document, document and document. In industry this serves many functions. For one, it provides legal evidence concerning the development of a new product in case of litigation. For another, it serves as an invaluable aid if someone else needs to take over a task. However, we are concerned with some other uses of documentation that bear more directly on the problem solving process. The human mind appears to us to think serially. For example, we speak of the "stream" of consciousness or “train” of thought. In other words, we have a linear thought pattern from "thought A" to "thought B" to "thought C". We can't seem to hold two thoughts simultaneously or follow two streams at the same time. There may be many thoughts occurring subconsciously, but we can only be aware of one thought at a time. On the other hand, our eyes are built to gather many pieces of information at once. By putting our ideas down on paper in the right way we can view them simultaneously. We can see them “in parallel.” The great thing about that is the synergy or interaction that can occur when we see thoughts A, B and C all together simultaneously. If we write a narrative about these thoughts describing how thought A leads to B which leads us to C, we're probably not going to see them in parallel unless speed reading is one of our talents. Our thoughts have to be put down on paper in the form of symbols which can be readily taken in by the eye and quickly grasped by the mind. They have to be allowed the freedom to associate in any direction on the visual page. Pencil and paper are the way we steer the probe of consciousness around our mental hyperspace.
Drawing "thought trees" are a good way of representing our ideas. The process consists of expressing your primary thought or starting point in a few words or a symbol enclosed in a rectangle representing a tree trunk at the center of our piece of paper. We then draw a branch attached to the trunk and a “leaf” which might be drawn as a circle. Inside the leaf we write a few words which symbolize our first thought on the subject. If this leads to another thought we draw a continuation of the branch and another leaf. Continue this way until your train of thought ends. Return to the trunk to start a new train of thought on the main subject, drawing a new branch and appropriate leaves. If a new direction of thought is triggered by one of the leaves, attach an offshoot branch at the point at which the thought occurs. You might label it, but do not pursue that line of thought or offshoot until you have finished the one you started. Creating the tree in this way keeps us from being distracted, but preserves our offshoot ideas for later consideration. This is a great help to people who just seem to spin their wheels, inundated by their genie with so many creative ideas that they are incapable of pursuing any train of thought to the bitter (or sweet) end.
(Insert image of a thought tree)
Let's go back and look at the thought tree for my notions about my son driving at age 15. My first branch involves my gut feeling that this situation is wrong and that I am angry that the State and the parents of my son's friends who have placed me in an uncomfortable position. The function of this tree branch is to express my emotions; my anger and frustration, so that it leaves my consciousness probe free to go on to other thoughts. In this way my emotions don’t block my exploration of mental hyperspace.
An offshoot indicates that a solution to my problem might be to get the legislature to repeal the law. Another offshoot suggests that I might remove the peer group pressure by convincing the other parents to revoke their permission. By expressing this train of thought as a branch and its sideshoots, I can carry each offshoot to its natural conclusion or “terminating leaf.” In this example, the termination indicates that it will take more effort or more time than I have available. This train of thought will not solve my problem in the length of time I have available. The fact that I have committed all these thoughts to paper allows me to drop that line of thought and safely take up a new one without fear of losing it. My anger has effectively been set aside so that I can take a fresh look at the problem without cluttering my thinking with thoughts that have now been demonstrated to lead nowhere. My mind’s natural hesitancy to release a thought until it receives a closure signal has been satisfied and I clear my mind for further probing.
My next branch of thought contains leaves which represent a deeper insight into the primitive problem which is my fear for my son's safety. I note that even if he doesn't drive, he will be unsafe if his friends drive. This allows me to refocus my attention from my anger to my fear, which of course is a totally different matter.
What would it take to allay the fear if it is irrational, or remove the hazard if there is a real risk? I note that the hazard lies in the possibility of irresponsible behavior of my son and his friends. My initial goal, which was to prevent my son from driving may in fact be counter-productive if his friends are less responsible than he is. The fact that my permission is required leads me to hope that I can impose rules about driving behavior and to recognize that I won't have that leverage when he is seventeen and no longer needs my permission to drive. I am therefore in a better position to establish good driving habits at fifteen then I will be at seventeen.
Now I start a new train of thought which involves an optional path to safety for my son and all his friends by getting the cooperation of his friends' parents which involves a mutual safety code and mutual responsibility for enforcement. I can even bring in my first train of thought by getting the legislature to recognize that a parent's legal permission to drive should be revocable.

Parents have for many years tried to get lawmakers to raise the driving age. Other groups of parents whose teenagers drive to school or to work oppose such legislation. Why not amend the current law by requiring notification of the parent in the case of any driving infraction and allowing the license to be rescinded upon request of the parent. This would satisfy both groups of parents and furthermore empower them to improve teen driving behavior.

Ferstunkena Power

2008-09-05T11:06:00.005-04:00

Bureaucratic power tends to increase. Accreditation of engineering schools is firmly under the control of a national organization called ABET. Originally intended to protect the public from fly-by-night schools, the board has over the years come to think that it knows more than all the universities, deans and professors put together. The result is a uniform curriculum and a great loss in educational creativity. Only a few great schools like Stanford and MIT, whose public reputations make them immune to ABET criticism, can afford to ignore the dictates of ABET. This is particularly true of the area called engineering design, which in most cases is nothing more than a glorified apprenticeship program that should take place in industry not in school. There is no better example of power corrupting well-meaning people who fall prey to the notion that they know better than everyone else. This kind of arrogance is common in all types of bureaucracy.

Fershtunkena Contractors

2007-12-21T19:45:00.000-05:00

What's with building contractors? Of course, there are the outright crooks who take your money and disappear. I don't mind that so much, because that's larceny and is therefore comprehensible. You just go to the cops. It's the honest but nutty contractor who is mind-boggling. What gets me, are the guys who give you an estimate, tell you when they're going to start the job, don't ask for a down payment and then don't show up. There's always an excuse and a rescheduling of the starting date. You haven't paid any money, so what can you do? The rescheduled date slips, because the contractors granny came down with trichinosis. The subcontractor's dog dies and then the materials aren't available from the lumber yard. The color you want and agreed upon suddenly has dropped out of the spectrum. There are no trees being cut down for wood due to an embargo by Green Peace. Some of the other excuses would make Bart Simpson blush. After the contractor has stalled you with six months of broken appointments, you decide yo are really, really going to fire him this time. He politely doesn't care. He's got months of returning telephone calls, at least one visit to the site to give an estimate invested in you, and he just doesn't care. It's as though he's testing your endurance.

Fershtunkener idea

2007-12-11T20:19:00.001-05:00

As you are aware I'm fascinated by the fallibility of the human mind. I noted a new example the other day while struggling with one of the traffic circles in our retirement community. I'm not going to complain about the traffic circle itself. That's been done to death. Let's face it, at least about half of the people entering the circle don't know what they're doing. No, as I was struggling to maintain a view of the many hazards surrounding me, I jogged my head back and forth from one side of the window-roof pillar to the other. I recalled that this didn't used to be the case.

Back in the early '50's, you'll remember that we had "wrap-around" windshields. Here's a quote from a January 23, 1954 Christian Science Monitor news story titled, Cadillac Declares Top Power: "The wrap-around, panoramic windshield follows the trend in most General Motors cars this year, designed to move back the corner post blind spot from the driver's vision. These windshields add 186 square inches to the window area. A total of 55 square inches has been added to the over-all window space compared with 1953."

The problem of obstructed vision was solved by technology developed for WWII bombers. Bravo. Fast forward about twenty years and Lee Iacocca comes along to huckster "cab-forward design." Everyone signs on based upon a massive ad campaign. Besides, it's so stylish to move the windshield away from the driver and over the engine compartment!! It's more aerodynamic they assure us. (Actually the improvement is negligible.) The net result is that we all accept driving around with our view of the road obscured by a big fat post. Someday a class action lawyer is going to get smart and sue Chrysler for perpetrating this road hazard on the American people. With respect -Joel

Verschlugginer Grocery Carts

2007-11-27T18:39:00.000-05:00

I wouldn't be the first person to complain about malfunctioning shopping carts. That's old. Every comic in the known universe has a routine based upom wobbly-wheeled grocery transport. No, I'm here to praise these wonders of domestic engineering. Next time you have no choice but to take one of those difficult-to-steer offenders, I suggest you imagine that you're in a French supermarket and thank God that you're not. A French shopping cart is a copy of the American original except that the French thought that they could do better. The American cart has two wheels that are free to steer. The French thought they could gain even more maneuverability with four free wheels.

If you ever try such a cart, you'll find that the stress on your wrists coming out of a turn is enormous. Twenty minutes per week of this kind of shopping is enough to build corded forearms like those of the Governor of California. Even if you manage to handle such a cart, you'd better take cover if you see a little old lady heading down an aisle pushing a metric ton of groceries at full speed. You don't need to have read Newton to know that "A body in motion will remain in motion." Madame will inevitably roll out of the turn sideways, madly trying to outrun the cart and to get to the opposite side. She will generally fail and run into some innocent monsieur with a cart full of bottles of a delicate Mouton Rothschild (Appellation Controllé 1999). Cleanup on aisle numero quatre!!!! Yes, thank your lucky stars that you live in America where the non-lethal grocery carts only chatter, wobble and squeek.

To the Daily Sun, Thanksgiving 2007

2007-11-27T17:49:00.000-05:00

To the Editor:

Sandy Mott and I agree on a wide range of issues ranging from educational accountability to the war against Islamo-fascists. However, I was disappointed to see that she chose to kick off the season of love with a Thanksgiving diatribe against secularism and atheists. One vainly hoped that this year we might not hear the annual Christmas rabble rousing about how Christians are a persecuted majority. Instead, we were treated to Sandy Mott's unprovoked Thanksgiving assault on anyone who believes in the Founders' vision that religion and government should be separated. The season of hate seems to have started early this year. I'll resist the temptation to add fuel to the fire by citing the many quotations of Presidents Jefferson and Madison favoring separation of church and state, but I can't resist the fact that Jefferson refused to declare a federal day of prayer and thanksgiving.

Columnist Mott starts her article with a quote from President George Washington declaring a day of thanksgiving to the Creator at the behest of Congress. I would suggest she keep in mind and heart another quote from this visionary man.

It is now no more that toleration is spoken of, as if it was by the indulgence of one class of people, that another enjoyed the exercise of their inherent natural rights. For happily the Government of the United States, which gives to bigotry no sanction, to persecution no assistance, requires only that they who live under its protection should demean themselves as good citizens, in giving it on all occasions their effectual support. -Washington, letter to Moses Siexas of the Touro Synagogue, Newport Rhode Island

The Father of our Country desired that in all things the government sees each of us as individuals, not members of a class or religion or party or philosophy. People who wish to divide themselves into such groups are completely free to do so. They should not, however, seek government advantage for themselves. Columnists who wish that government would subsidize such divisions among our people should instead count their blessings on Thanksgiving. The very same amendment of the Constitution that keeps government out of religion keeps government out of journalism.

Fershtunkena in particular

2007-09-25T22:59:00.003-04:00

Kids at buffets that are too short for sneeze guards to be effective
Commercials that are louder than the tv show itself
English actors with incomrehensible accents thicker than 'Liza Doolittle's
Background music on tv that's too loud, so I can't understand the actors
Poultry and meat with added solution
Stupid people on game shows who need a lifeline just to answer "who was buried in Grant's Tomb?"
Family members that talk while I'm watching "House, MD"